I looked it up self-indulgent, it is an adjective
“characterized by doing or tending to do exactly what one wants, especially when this involves pleasure or idleness.”
Yes, we have a self-indulgent lifestyle. Hell yeah! Life is to be enjoyed, life is there to get as much out of as you possibly can because it is short and you only have one. This is exactly the thinking that lead us to jump into this new lifestyle back in 2012.
Of course one will do exactly what one wants, one is looking for freedom not a prison sentence during whatever time we are granted on this planet.
I will make my lifestyle as self-indulgent as I possibly can because why not? Why the hell not? What is it that I’m supposed to be doing that isn’t self-indulgent? No harm comes to anyone else in the making of this lifestyle and actually, I scatter enough fairy dust in my wake to make myself really satisfied with my life’s sum.
Should I be giving every cent to charity? Maybe I do, you don’t know if I do or not. I’ll tell you up front that I don’t trust most charities. Too many pockets are being lined and too little reaches the people it should be reaching. I prefer to be hands on. I absolutely do not like people who talk publicly about their charitable doings.
Should I be getting involved in volunteer work? Likewise
Should I be doing “random acts of kindness”? I hate that expression almost as much as the people who claim to be doing just that with the need to tell the world how kind they are after the random event. These people annoy me intensely so my “kindness” will never be publicised. And likewise, nobody knows what I do and don’t do.
Should I be working ( for a salary) for some worthy cause? I did, for 20 years. Stuff that!
Should my life be spent in serving my family? It is, I have 2 kids a husband and an octogenarian great-grandmother who come first in everything. But again, you ( meaning the idiotic comment dropper, not you, dear reader) wouldn’t know that.
I honestly don’t know what I should be doing to not be seen as self-indulgent, please let me know in the comments.
Do you, any of you see your life as not self indulgent, not pleasure-seeking, not striving for personal and close family happiness and progression? Again, the comments are all yours.
This is a bit ” Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.” isn’t it.
Trouble is, self-indulgence isn’t a sin, a crime nor an insult.
Is it Just Me, Am I the Only Self Indulgent Person You Despise?
Is it? Is it just me that you have a problem with?
Is it all nomads?
Is it every self-employed person?
Is it everyone earning more money that you or enjoying life more than you? I’m not saying either of those things are true, but I’ve seen this sort of bitterness before in relation to nomads and it wasn’t pretty. Why let anyone else’s lifestyle bother you? I don’t get why you would. Words like jealous, bragging, boasting, all those mean-spirited angry words, I just don’t use them, why do you?
You know, the impression you might get from the glossy Instagram accounts isn’t real life. A lot of people joke that their job on social media is to make their lives appear better than yours. It’s not real, behind the scenes all but the super rich are working damned hard to make their lives so Instagrammable. We don’t.
I am perfectly happy in this moment. I’m working, in the garden of a low-budget guest house in Kathmandu. Chef and the kids are happy, we’re just thinking about going for some dinner. Why does what we do bother you so much?
On Idleness. A Self Indulgent Lifestyle is Defined by Idleness
Self indulgence is often characterised as bubble baths while sipping glasses of champagne, poolside lounging and other such pursuits. We definitely don’t do any that, never have. But these things go down very well on Instagram. Maybe you have us confused with somebody else?
You’re having a laugh maybe? Me, idle? I’m the most high energy person I know. You have to tie me down to stop me being busy, but again, you don’t know that. Because you may think you have a window on our lifestyle, but actually you don’t.
When I was younger I went “on holiday”, I went on holiday because social conditioning had convinced me that relaxing was what holidays were all about. I never quite got the point but I went along with the tradition to fit in with nearest and dearest. To me that is idleness. Flopping on a beach or by a pool. Not my scene thanks and luckily I met a bloke who didn’t see life that way either. I get that people who work for other people or feel burnt out by life like to relax on holiday, that’s fine, it’s just not what we do.
Nope, nobody idle here. Every waking second is spent in work, getting by, exploring, enjoying, exercise, researching, child management and nurturing and all the regular things that make up a life. That’s a big fat nope to idle. I’m not a believer in the un-busy movement.
On the Pursuit of Pleasure, The Other Aspect of a Self Indulgent Lifestyle
I’ll pursue pleasure till I’m blue in the face. Surely you (anonymous commentator) do too? Or have you given up on life? Are you so bogged down in the mundane to think that pleasure isn’t for you ? Maybe you find pleasure in watching TV or going to the pub every Friday night?
I don’t. I’ll find my pleasure in the high Himalayas or the back streets of Bangkok. I’ll find my pleasure in owning less and living more. I find pleasure in seeing my kids and husband do the things they love and have incredible, mind expanding experiences. I take great pleasure in not being a consumer, in living for experience not possessions and in being able to give my kids those experiences too.
My work is pleasurable, or I wouldn’t do it. So is my work a self-indulgence? Maybe I should go back to working 9-5 in a job I hate, would that make you feel better?
I’m enjoying writing this post, I enjoy taking photos even though I’m pretty bad at it, I enjoy creating websites and all the technical challenges that go with that. I enjoy learning.
I love the bloggers I coach, that part of my job has been insanely good fun. I also enjoy teaching.
I love that I can help other families with their travel and lifestyle choices. I enjoy helping.
I love that I can give a business a plug, without asking for money in exchange. I love that we don’t do sponsored travel ( unless invited, which is pretty rare).
I love teaching my kids to do all this stuff and facilitating whatever projects or goals they have.
I also love hand washing clothes, cutting grass with a scythe, chopping wood and building fires all through winter. I love it because it’s a challenge. My life has to be a challenge or I AM BORED! I hate being unoccupied.
It’s been awesome that through our lifestyle we’ve been able to let my husband indulge his Ironman habit. He’s a happy camper and is it doing anyone any harm that he likes to compete in the toughest single day sporting event on the planet? Is it? That man is so self-indulgent, but a winner for having the balls to get out there and do something so immense.
I also love that I can open eyes and minds. I read so much negative stuff about countries and peoples, there is so much fear and mis-information in the media and I like to think that I’m helping to break down prejudices. I know my kids won’t be racist or xenophobic and that, to me, is enough. Anything more is gravy.
Self Indulgence can also be called ” me time”. My “me time” occasionally involves staring into space, people watching over morning coffee or evening beer, but mostly my “me-time” is my work. It’s widely believed that me-time is good for you, therefore so is, by default, self-indulgence.
So I don’t see why my self-indulgent lifestyle is a problem to you, anonymous commentator. I’m not harming anyone. In fact I’m helping one heck of a lot of people and my family is thriving. My family is important to me, you are not. So pack up your venom and take it elsewhere and maybe focus on fixing your own bitterness because my life, my website, my readers, my friends and family, are none of your business. Now I’m going for some dinner.